Marriage has a different meaning to everybody, every religion and families. Some people would say that marriage is a contract made by two people to love and serve one another until the day they die. If you noticed, they did not specify the gender but usually they would refer to man and woman. Other people would say that marriage is a license to have a more physical relationship with their partner, meaning legally be able to have intercourse because they are legally binded in a relationship. Marriage is the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies and so on.
According to a write up on the definition of marriage to Islam, marriage or “Nikah” means physical relationship between man and woman and also the contact of marriage which makes the relationship lawful. Definition of marriage in fiqh is a contract that results in the two parties physically enjoying each other in the manner allowed by the Shari’ a. Since this is only one aspect of marriage a modern scholar named Muhammad Abu Zahrah stated that marriage is a contract that results in the man and woman living with each other and supporting each other within the limits of what has been laid down for them in terms of rights and obligations.
Political philosophers agree that sex and reproduction are essential to the health however moral philosophers debated whether marriage has a special moral status and relation to the human good. A quote by one of the famous Greek philosopher Socrates, “By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.” Although this quote may seem mean to some people it also may seem funny to most. In some ways this is quite true because choosing the right person to get married will make your life happy and if the person you marry is not the right person then you will be a lot smarter and wiser in a relationship and you will have lots to advice.
In my opinion, marriage is when two people who are in love, make a decision to share their life together physically and mentally. They want to build a family together and spend the rest of their life caring and loving each other till the end of their lives. Marriage is something very sacred to me. People should not take it lightly and divorce every time they have a small misunderstanding or don’t find their spouse attractive anymore. In my religion, Catholic, there is no such thing as divorce. You can only marry one person and you cannot divorce them but you can live separately. So if you want to marry a person, make sure he or she is the one because getting married is a very big decision especially when you are planning to spend your rest of life together.
Not all marriages end in divorce. People tend to see the bad side of marriage. What if they get married and then get a divorce? What then? Well marriage takes to people to commit. Try not to make a big deal out of a small misunderstanding and always try to work it out with your spouse so that your marriage will be saved. I mean sometimes people tend to see what that person did wrong not what they did wrong. They are too stubborn to admit their fault that they blame it all on their spouse and that is when trouble or misunderstandings happen. That is when married couples have trouble to compromise and therefore end up divorcing or living separately from each other.
Marriage will change your life forever. Some people do not believe in marriage because they say that marriage is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person. They say that because for them, being bound to only one person is not their cup of tea. They would rather like to party all day and all night and go out with different women or men. They like to use the term “tied down”. So these anti- marriage people find that tying the knot or by being married they would be tied down which means they would not have any more freedom to roam or live the way they used to during their single life. That is usually the main reason why they do not want to get married.
However, there are some who do want to settle down and build a family of their own. Knowing that their loved ones will be at home when they get back from work is one of their main reasons to be married. They might even feel lonely and fed up of being or staying alone that they decide that it is time to find the perfect wife or husband and get married but there are some men and women who do not want to have children once they are married because they are scared of getting stretch marks or they say that children are a nuisance to them. Some say that they do not want to have children because if they do then their privacy will be gone. Their children will always be around and their children will always have to come first especially when they are just toddlers.
I do not think that it is wrong neither do I think that it is right but being married has always been a dream of mine. To be able to spend the rest of my life with someone who understands me, who is patient with me and who loves me for who I am and treats me with respect the way I would treat him.
Some marriages last a life time and some do not. However, we should not be afraid to get married although it is a huge step because going out with a person and living with him/ her is absolutely different. You will know their habits and see who they really are and you would have to get used to their bad habits and you will no longer have any personal space because what is your is his and what is his is yours. However, you will be able to spend the rest of your life with the one you love. Waking up every single day to the sound of his/ her voice and coming back home from work to the open arms of the one you love is the best thing that could ever happen to anyone.
Maybe I’m just a romantic but this is what marriage is all about. Trust, compromise, love and respect are essential in a marriage.
BY: SHARYL ANDREA STEPHEN
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